MOTOR-BLOG from Coventry

Well I’m glad that’s over!  In case you haven’t guessed, I’m talking about Christmas.  Before you all start booing me and expecting me to cry out “Baa-Humbug”, I have a very legitimate reason for my feeling of relief that the yuletide has passed.  You see it’s the only time of the year where I had, yes had, to do that dreaded “S” word - I had to go shopping!

Shopping is bad enough at the best of times, but at Chrimbo it’s an absolute nightmare!  All those people in such a rush treating their trolleys like a cross between a Formula 1 car and a monster truck.  Too many bags to cart around and queues as long as Rapunzels hair!  AAARGH! It’s too much!! I have an answer to this seasonal problem though, as much as possible people should shop online, it’s easy, stress free and the parcels come directly to your door, often already wrapped!

Another thing that would help is if shops had a cashier on every till, with bag packers, to help keep the queues down, but most of all, if I ever became Prime Minister, I would introduce as compulsary a trolley test.  Whenever I am in charge of one of these four wheel steer shopping aids, I try to treat one the same as I would as when I am in charge of a vehicle on Her Majesties highway.  I do my best not to hit anybody else’s shopping jalopies and most important of all I always try to park, I mean stop, the trolley in a
position that does not interfere with passing aisle traffic. 

Unfortunately I seem to be in a minority.  The amount of times a seemingly ownerless trolley was left in the middle of the lane blocking the way for everyone else whilst the custodian of the said trolley was pondering the difference in price between two different brands of beans.  I wonder if their motorcar is parked as inconsiderately outside in the car park?

Anyhow, the test would involve steering around cardboard cut-outs of shelf stackers without touching them, correct loading practices and of course, most important of all, considerate parking would have to be demonstrated.  I would also propose a penalty points system which would involve three points for each inconsiderate trolley parking offence and when 12 points were reached these people would be banned from operating a trolley for a period of three months, forcing them to either shop online or shop locally - with a basket.  They would then have to retake the trolley test before they are allowed to push a trolley around again.

I am sure that these measures would improve the festive shopping mission no end, and make the shopping trip at least bearable. Just the January sales to look forward to then…